We cherish sharing our stories-our laughter, our scars, our quiet moments-with those we truly connect to.
We give our time freely, not out of obligation, but because it feels like love, like joy. So never rush, never force yourself to open up if your heart isn’t ready. But if there’s no genuine connection, don’t deceive yourself by pretending there is, nor declare it to someone else. True love doesn’t wear masks.
We convince ourselves that we are protecting our peace, when in reality we are protecting ourselves from the vulnerability that comes with honesty. The love we cultivate inside often becomes more about control than connection.
The love we’re often taught is the greatest illusion of all. One of today’s most popular mantras is, “Love yourself first, then you can love others.” On the surface it sounds empowering-a foundation of self‑compassion for healthy relationships. Indeed, caring for yourself is essential.
But let’s peel back the layers. When the phrase turns into a hierarchy-first me, then you-it divides and disconnects.
When we hear, “Begin within, then reach out,” or “Be selfish; it’s healthy,” the idea can morph into a justification for selfishness. Suddenly, loving another feels like a duty that follows a personal quota.
Let’s pause for a second: Are we using self‑love as a safety net to keep love at arm’s length?
Now contrast this with the ancient teaching, “Love your enemies.” That truth makes no assumptions and places no demands. It asks us to extend love without first checking a box, recognizing that love arises spontaneously.
So, what does this tell us? Love isn’t a reward earned after self‑service; it’s a state that can appear at any moment, independent of any prescribed order.
Reflect. Have you ever used “self‑love first” as a shield against extending kindness? How might the conversation change if you approached love without a checklist?
This leads to the core insight: love is either present or absent. There is no “first‑this‑then‑that” roadmap. Love doesn’t follow steps; it doesn’t wait in line.
Love is either here-alive, breathing, reaching out-or it is not. When it’s present, it flows outward, unasked and unearned.
Love isn’t a ladder we climb; it’s a space we inhabit. When we step into that space, we discover that the truest connections are the ones that simply are, with no prerequisites and no pressure. Because when the door of love is open, the sharing of truth begins. That moment is when sharing feels like love in motion-effortless, reciprocal, and uplifting. That sharing is the proof; that sharing is truth.
So come with curiosity, not conquest.
Approach to understand, or, quietly and kindly, keep walking.